Food is not the problem therefore counting calories is not the solution…

Counting calories seems scientific. Numbers, tracking, data, discipline.
It gives the illusion of control.

But that control is usually standing in for something else:

• Fear of losing control
• Fear of taking up space
• Fear of being judged
• Fear of being unworthy unless we are small

So calorie counting isn’t just about energy balance.
It’s about self-worth management.

If Food Were Really the Problem…

Then the solution would be simple:

• Eat “right”
• Track accurately
• Lose weight
• Maintain it

But if it were that simple:

• Diet culture wouldn’t be a billion-dollar revolving door
• People wouldn’t lose weight only to regain it
• Eating disorders wouldn’t be as common as depression

The reality is:
Food is the medium, not the root.

What’s Actually Going On Underneath

For so many people, food is:

• Comfort when emotions are overwhelming
• Control when life feels chaotic
• Reward when approval is scarce
• Punishment when shame kicks in
• Numbness when feelings are too big to tolerate

So when someone says:

“I need to get my eating under control.”

What they often mean is:

“I don’t feel in control of my life, my emotions, my body, or how others see me.”

Food is the expression, not the cause.

Why Calorie Counting Fails Long-Term

Not because it never works.
But because it only addresses the surface behavior.

It doesn’t address:

• The body’s survival response to restriction
• The emotional function of food
• The psychological meaning of weight
• The cultural pressure that says worth = thinness

When the emotional story is untouched, the body knows.
So even “successful” restriction often cycles into:

• Rebound eating
• Shame
• Starting over
• “This time will be different”

Not because of weakness.
Because the underlying need was never met.