How to sit in discomfort?

by Ana | January 17, 2026 | Healthy Eating, Psychology | Comments are off for this post.

This is one of the hardest — and most misunderstood — parts of binge-eating recovery. You’re not wrong to resist it. Sitting in discomfort feels scary because for a long time, binging worked to make something stop.

But here’s the honest why, without fluff or tough-love.

Why discomfort is unavoidable (and temporary) in ending binge eating

1. Binges are a regulation tool

Binge eating isn’t about food — it’s about relief.

It helps you:

  • numb anxiety
  • shut off racing thoughts
  • escape loneliness, boredom, shame
  • discharge stress from restriction or control

When you stop binging, the feelings it was muting don’t disappear.
They show up.

If you immediately get rid of the discomfort in another way, your nervous system never learns anything new.

2. Your brain has learned a fast escape

Your brain has a very clear loop:

discomfort ? binge ? relief

To end binge eating, the brain has to learn:

discomfort ? I survive ? discomfort passes

That learning cannot happen if you don’t stay present long enough for the urge to rise and fall.

Urges peak and fall like waves — but only if you don’t act on them.

3. Discomfort ? danger (but your body thinks it is)

After years of using food to cope, discomfort feels urgent and threatening.

But sitting in it teaches your nervous system:

  • “This feeling won’t kill me”
  • “I don’t need to escape it”
  • “I can tolerate this”

That’s how urges lose intensity over time — not by force, but by familiarity.

4. Avoidance keeps urges loud

Each time you binge to escape discomfort, your brain says:

“Good call — that feeling was dangerous.”

So next time:

  • the urge comes faster
  • it feels louder
  • it feels more compulsory

Sitting in discomfort rewires that association:

“Nothing bad happened. I didn’t need the binge.”

That’s how the loop weakens.

5. You’re not sitting in discomfort forever

This is important.

You’re not meant to:

  • white-knuckle forever
  • sit in unbearable distress
  • raw-dog emotions without support

You’re sitting in discomfort long enough for your nervous system to learn safety.

At first that might be:

  • 30 seconds
  • 2 minutes
  • one urge per day

That’s enough.

What “sitting in discomfort” actually looks like (not suffering)

It’s not:

  • shaming yourself
  • arguing with thoughts
  • demanding the urge go away

It is:

  • naming the feeling (“this is anxiety / restlessness / sadness”)
  • breathing while the urge is present
  • letting the urge exist without acting
  • choosing delay, not denial (“I won’t binge for 10 minutes”)

You’re teaching your body a new ending to the story.

One crucial caveat (this matters a lot)

You cannot out-sit restriction.

If you’re:

  • under-eating
  • skipping meals
  • mentally restricting foods
  • telling yourself “not now, later”

Then discomfort isn’t emotional — it’s biological.

In that case, eating is the solution, not sitting with the urge.